Because of the Angels

thinking of some beloved particular young women today... 

 

“Because of the Angels”

     At the time of our conversion, the heart of stone has been removed from our flesh and the heart of flesh has been placed within us. Our false affections for everything that comes from the world, namely, the boastful pride of life and the lust of the eyes and flesh, are removed from us, and the persisting gift of faith and love for Christ is implanted in our new heart and spirit. Yes, such a gift of true affection for Christ results in obedience. As Christ tells us, “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments”. 

     Here, I want to discuss a particular unregenerate desire that ought to have been removed from us at the time of regeneration. This desire may still come to the forefront of our consciousness when we fail to keep in step with the Spirit, and thus we are in a journey of putting to death this desire by the power of the Spirit, yes, even the resurrection power that is ours in Christ Jesus. This desire which I speak of here is that of the woman to be worshiped, in essence, for what she is physically. This desire is her longing to be cherished, worshiped, adored, sought after, desired, and relished because of what she is physically. I do not mean to say that such a longing for love is inherently an unregenerate desire. For surely the daughter of the King, a virgin in heart, will deeply desire affection from her heavenly Father, and Christ her elder Brother through the Spirit who pours such love into her heart. But this desire is on the basis of Christ alone and nothing about her physical self or even moral self apart from Christ. But the unregenerate desire to be worshiped is a desire in a woman to be worshiped for a temporal reason by, often times, though not in all cases, an inordinate source. The primary example I refer to is the woman who seeks to be worshiped by a man, whom she is not pledged to marry, because of her physical beauty. Does the very mention of this example appall you?  Does it sound so far removed from you, dear sister, that you feel that you have scarce harbored such a desire inside of you prior to this day? May the Spirit reveal to you the infinite subtleties within you that are forms of this unregenerate desire. For if you would but look at the world around you, the women around you, the media, the culture, the music, the style, the dress, yes, even within your own consciousness, it may surprise you to realize that this very desire has infiltrated the vast majority of the hearts of all women. Most women unknowingly or knowingly seek to be worshiped by men who are not their own. 

     But dear sister, there is an example that the Lord has shown me that applies very directly to this sinful desire which results in a sinful condition of the soul that evades much of our behavior. When Paul healed a man at Lystra, the crowds saw what he had done and said, “The gods have become like men and have come down to us”. They began to worship Paul and Barnabas as though they themselves were gods. What was their response when they heard these remarks from the people? They tore their robes and rushed out into the crowd, crying out and saying, “Men, why are you doing these things? We are also men of the same nature as you, and preach the Gospel to you that you should turn from these vain things to a living God, WHO MADE THE HEAVEN AND THE EARTH AND THE SEA AND ALL THAT IS IN THEM. In the generations gone by He permitted all the nations to go their own ways; and yet He did not leave Himself without witness, in that He did good and gave you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your hearts with food and gladness” (Acts 14).

    This response of Paul and Barnabas ought to be our attitude and response to worship that we receive from men. Our hearts and mouths should cry, “Far be it from me that I should be worshipped by you, dear brother. Worship the Lord alone for He is worthy of glory and honor and thanks”. Or would be steal His glory and relish the worship of our selves by other men? Think of all of the time, money, energy, and heart that you use to make yourself physically desirable for the worship by random men who are not your husband! 

     The core heart condition is that you seek to be worshipped. You are trying to steal the glory that belongs to the Lord of the universe and, interestingly, to your husband or your husband to be, if you are not yet married. For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake. THEREFORE THE WOMAN OUGHT TO HAVE A SYMBOL OF AUTHORITY ON HER HEAD, BECAUSE OF THE ANGELS. (1 Cor 11:7-11). I have described in a prior chapter that we can learn from the concept of head coverings that, at the very least, we are to dress in such a way that shows we are in subjection to Christ and our familial authorities, that we are not looking for any degree of an affair with a man, and in a way that shows us as being distinct from the sensuality of the day. 

     Dear sister, fallen angels, demons, can watch what you do in private and in the secret place. And they can try to tempt you accordingly. They can tempt you through other men. They can tantalize you with worship through the form of other men’s looks and actions towards you. The entire culture’s worship of the female body is demonic! You need a sign of authority in the way you act and dress both in private and in public. Read below what a Puritan brother spoke of the symbol of authority:

“In the assembly you meet with angels and devils; angels observe your garb and carriage and devils tempt you. Therefore, be covered because of the angels. The practice of women (who come hither with a shameless impudence into the presence of God, men and angels) neither suits with modesty nor conveniency…(Such boldness) feeds your own pride, and provokes …others of your rank to imitate your vanity. Now we should rather please God than men; better never please men than offend God” Sermons on Titus 2:11-14, Complete Works, vol. 16, p. 138 of Thomas Manton.

   May our hearts long for all to worship the King alone and not us. Far be it from us that men should worship us, and worser yet, sin, and stumble because of us. Remember Christ’s Words, “Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!” (Matt 18:7) I think back to an example of my immaturity as a teenager in my freshman year at college. I was taking a Calculus class taught by a graduate student (TA). I knew he had his eye on me and he seemed to be following me wherever I went. I began to hate his presence and to despise everything about him. About a week into the course I went to the TA of the other section of the same course and pleaded with him to let me join his class and he agreed. But the first TA still kept wandering after me wherever I was, so blatantly so, that I was almost tormented by it. I was discussing with mom recently what I would do differently now, after 7 years of progressive sanctification. I realize that I would have soon told him the Gospel and he would have left me alone. I would not have allowed the mysterious aura of my silence to continue as he followed me. I would have broken the silence with testimonies of our great salvation.

     The demonic and satanic forces of seduction and lust influence the state of affairs around us and the way ungodly men treat us. We must constantly break the aura of the “glorious mystery” of our physical beauty by pointing to Christ, the One whose beauty and glory is resplendent and infinite. We must remain broken and contrite, filled with tears of joy and Godly sorrow. I must tell you: it is much less likely that a man will sinfully worship a woman who wholeheartedly worships Christ and points to Christ in all that she says, does, and thinks. When you carry the aroma of Christ, when your demeanor carries the righteousness of Christ, when you are blameless in the inner room of your house and heart, and His glory covers you, there is little that evil forces will see and utilize to cause you or another to stumble.

    

Does Not Even Nature Itself Teach You…

Does Not Even Nature Itself Teach You…

     This section will be a journey for me to write because I am going to attempt to communicate some “soulish” intuitions about the nature of the man’s authority over the woman in human words. I may end up not including this section in my book if it is not written coherently, but I pray that Lord-willing you and I will learn something from this. In the past year I have been trying to understand the authority of a man over a woman as described in Paul’s instructions to the Corinthian church about the necessity for women to wear head coverings.  In Paul’s instructions he conveyed that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of woman, and God is the head of Christ. The head covering is a symbol of authority on the woman’s head. Paul asks, “Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him, but if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her? For her hair is given to her as a covering” For a woman to pray or prophesy with her head uncovered is a disgrace. And for a man to cover his head is a disgrace. For man is the image and glory of God; and woman is the glory of man. Man does not originate from woman, but woman from man. Man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake. However, in the Lord, neither man nor woman is independent from one another. (see 1 Cor 11:1-16) God created woman from the man’s rib as a helper suitable for him. The man said that she was now bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh because she was taken out of him. And for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Gen 2:20-23) Thus, there are innate God-ordained differences between men and women:

1.     The woman is the glory of man.

2.     The woman originates from man [was taken out of him] and becomes one with him.

3.     The woman was created for man’s sake, to be a suitable helper.

     I have had a list of FAQs about these things for several years and I am going to write a summary of my journey of understanding what little I have come to understand. These FAQs included “Which man am I the glory of?”, “Which man was I created for the sake of?”, “Which man am I a suitable helper for?”, “Do these items apply to myself with regard to all men, all Christian men, Christian authority figures who are men, or only my father/husband?”, “How do these things apply to me in my singleness?”, “What exactly is authority?”, “What are the implications of oneness in flesh?”…and many others.

     I must admit that the culture of my upbringing does not seem to have benefited me in any way to understand the natural order that God has created. Dad and mom would have been a good example to me had I understood the true relationship between them. Dad and mom’s relationship could be described this way: mom pretends like she is the boss, but really dad is the boss and they both know it. I only realized this in the past few years, and thus most of my childhood, I was never taught and rarely, if ever, saw the God-ordained order of authority between men and woman displayed. But when I read the 1 Cor 11 and Gen 2 passage, I had realized that there is something very Spiritual and natural going on here between men and women. And yet our wicked culture has so quenched this ordination that we have altogether lost our understanding of it. I have needed the Spirit and Word to restore this lost understanding of the natural and Spiritual differences between men and women.

      Firstly, I will explain my present conviction about woman’s head coverings. I went through I period of time [about 2 years ago] when I covered my head during church. I did this in faith, having felt confused and uneasy whenever I read the 1 Cor 11 passage. I had no clue if God truly wanted me to cover my head, but I did so in faith. The passage said that women should cover the heads and I decided to obey. The first Sunday that I did so was very informative. God gave me comfort in my fear of the opinions of others, and I felt a kind of protection that I had never felt before. I felt that my soul was covered by the life of Christ. Of course, this had been true since I put my faith in Him, but I felt it in greater degree. In fact, though I expected to feel more honor and respect for my earthly father, the greater effect was an increased knowledge of Christ’s covering over me. The covering seemed to remove all subtleties of sensuality, pride, and, surprisingly, insecurity. I do not know how to explain this well enough. The Sundays after that first Sunday were not so inspirational and I eventually settled into a mode where my head covering made no difference whatsoever to my heart’s attitude as it had the first Sunday. I realized that I had been given an introduction to the nature of authority. Eventually I stopped wearing a head covering and I no longer felt guilty not to do so, though that does not make me faultless. The Lord is my Judge and Savior. I was informed that in the Corinthian church culture, most noble women would cover their heads, always, not only in church. Whereas, the prostitutes of the time, who were not under the authority of a husband, father, or any other Godly man, would not cover their heads. Thus, for a woman not to cover her head indicated that she was wanton, rebellious, sensual, brazen, and forsaking of Godly authority. Thus, both the good and bad angels, who lack omniscience, could see the outward manifestation of a woman’s heart by her action of covering or not covering her head. I heard some present-day men of God explain that the application of head coverings for the present day would be for a woman not to dress in the same way as the worldly women of the present day, but rather in a way that shows that she is in submission to Christ and Godlyauthorities. So though the prostitutes and magazine-cover women wear sensual clothing, I ought to be set-apart in purity and chastity in the way that I dress. My present conviction is that I ought to dress in a way that honors God and shows myself as set-apart from the culture of the day, in a way that shows I am in submission to God and my father, and not looking for inordinate affairs with wrong types of people. If God truly wants me to cover my head, I pray that He brings me to the point of conviction again…

     So my inward grappling with the ideals behind head coverings introduced me to these Spiritual mysteries of the God-ordained structure between men and women. Another event that happened was when Anand told me something very heart-breaking last year, and I thank him, because the hurt of it has healed with the Truth that I learned thereafter in my pursuit of comfort. He said, “Not many men are going to be able to lead you” and it stung greatly. I replied earnestly, “What do you mean? Why? What is wrong with me?” He replied that a man has to be extremely Godly to lead me. I initially started to comfort myself with the thought that I really was not as Godly as Anand thought and that he had not really seen my bad side completely. I also questioned what exactly a man needed to be able to lead me. Did he have to be much more intelligent than me? Did he have to have more knowledge of the Bible than me? Did he have to have a deeper prayer life than men? Did he have to simply be 20 years older or 2 feet taller than me so that there was no way I could threaten his authority? Did he have to just be approved of by dad and Anand? Did he have to be extremely strong in the areas where my flesh is weak? LORD, WHAT DOES A MAN NEED IN ORDER TO LEAD ME??? After Anand made this comment, I asked dad whether he thought that there were men who could lead me. His response was even more strange, “Yes, there are probably some men out there, but they would have to be very humble and desire only to build God’s Kingdom”. So then, again, I started questioning, “Does the man need to have a greater desire for God’s Kingdom’s advance than me to lead me?” and “Why would humility help a man lead me?”

     My first glimmer of hope came from The Story of Ian and Larissa, for which I am very grateful to God. Ian underwent a serious accident during their “courtship” and was put in a wheel-chair, unable to work, have children, speak properly, and other disabilities”. Larissa chose to marry him. She sacrificed her life to take care of him and to show him love and respect as his wife. The one thing that caused me to understand more about what a man needs in order to lead a woman was her sharing about how her husband led her. She gave an example in which Ian would just barely, with great struggle, be able to mumble the words, “God is good”, and Larissa would be led by these words and her soul would follow his lead for the day by his statement. Larissa was choosing to be led by Ian who could not work, elaborately teach or speak, give her children, physically comfort, or do most of the things which young women dream of their husbands doing for them. And yet, she wholeheartedly was led by him. What did Ian have that he could lead Larissa? What did Larissa have that she could be led by him? I realized that Ian had exactly what he needed: he had the anointing of the Spirit, faith, and the love of Christ. Larissa had exactly what she needed: humility, purity, faithfulness, servant-hood, and respect. She clearly understood the Biblical premise that she was made for her husband and sacrificed many earthly comforts to fulfill God’s calling in her life. She notes that God gave her a supernatural joy and peace in the midst of her sacrifice. She likely feels very blessed by Ian and does not consider herself as having made a sacrifice. Their testimony has encouraged numerous saints throughout the world to truly seek God to use their marriages to display the eternal Covenant between Christ and the church.

     There were several other questions I had when I felt anointed by the Spirit to write letters to the saints that I know. I knew that women were not to speak in the church or to authoritatively teach men and that positions of authority such as pastor and eldership were to be granted to men alone. Unlike some other women who felt threatened by these church ordinances, I felt protected by them. I felt extremely uncomfortable trying to imagine myself being a leader/teacher in the church over men [sorry, but I sometimes could not help but imagine every possible scenario of a given train of thought]. It felt like blaspheme to my soul to think of assuming any authority over any man, even young men. I attribute this feeling to the ordinate desires granted to me in my regenerated spirit. The flesh must be crucified continually in order to walk according to the desires of the regenerated spirit. I currently have much peace in writing letters, knowing that I assume no authority over men, and that I am under Christ’s and my earthly father’s authority. And if I speak Truth from the Scriptures, God in His authority uses His Word with His own power in the hearts of His people. It appears that the Godly men who are very secure in their God-given manhood, are most willing to be encouraged by a sister in Christ with no fear, because they understand my soul, and do not view me as an authoritative teacher, but as a dear sister who is sharing her testimony of her heart/minds interaction with the Word for the encouragement of the saints. My conscience is clear, because I have assumed no authority over men, and Lord willing, I write in agape and humility. I thought back to the state of my soul in the presence of men over the years. I realized that whenever I had been in the presence of a man, my soul subconsciously went under the headship of some of them. It was not something I consciously decided to have happen, but if I was in the presence of men, especially Christian men who had the Spirit of God indwelling them, my soul somehow yielded itself in respect. My voice and demeanor became more respectful, quieter, and gentle. Even if I was sharing a testimony of something God was teaching me [“praying and prophesying”], if men were present, my physical being subjected itself to my soul’s submission to any Spiritual male heads present. Whereas, I noticed that when I was with only women and children, I became more authoritative and outspoken, and assumed more responsibility. Sadly, there were probably some instances in my earlier life as a teenager when my soul was wrongly seduced to respect men that I ought to have avoided and I was quite uncomfortable and “lost” in doing so. Any yokes apart from Christ and His ordained yokes are cruel masters. I realize now that every inordinate affair in a woman’s heart originates from the inordinate subjection of her soul to the wrong authority. Though in some sense, coarse sensuality in a woman defies the authority of all men and she seeks to usurp her role as a woman by her wantonness. Eventually, I learned that not only did a man need the Lord’s anointing [the clear, humble, and loving heart of faith] to lead me, but God had given me a natural inclination to follow the man. These inclinations of Godly men to lead and of Godly women to follow are items which are manifested in the heavenly realms. The nature of such authority and submission structure is instituted by God in the heavenly realms, being manifested in our physical behavior. This structure does not depend on and does not even necessarily involve the physical talents of either man or woman. Thus, a woman like Larissa who is physically stronger, smarter, and more “able” in an earthly sense at just about everything than Ian, can submit to, honor, respect, and follow her husband. And Ian can truly lead Larissa with a clear conscience and a strong bold authority with no qualms about his physical weaknesses. Why? Because this authority structure is ordained by God and it remains.  “When all things are subjected to Him, then the Son Himself also will be subjected to the One who subjected all things to Him, so that God may be all in all (1 Cor 15:28)”

     My understanding was confirmed by some words from a sermon by Paul Washer, “Recovering Biblical Womanhood”. He explains [min 10-12] that though a woman is able to be fulfilled and sustained in all ways by Christ, she was also made to be Spiritually led by Godly men. I have realized that if I am walking by faith, my soul immediately and faithfully resorts under the headship of God-ordained authorities: always my parents, and other Godly men such as Anand. However, the saints throughout the world are living in a day when most men are not taking responsibility to abide in the Word; this has greatly limited the pool of Godly men to which Godly women ought to submit themselves to [of course, we must show proper respect to all men].

     Just as there is a Spiritual order of headship between man and woman, there is also a type of authority that is granted to the elderly. A gray hair is a crown of glory (Prov 16:31) and the Israelites were commanded to rise up before the gray headed, to honor the aged, and to revere their Lord and God (Lev 19:32). One reason why the elderly are to be given respect, is that there is a general tendency for older men to have more wisdom and experience. For foolishness is bound in a child’s heart, but wisdom and understanding accompanies ages men and a long life (Job 12:12). We remember the example of King Rehoboam who was given good advice by his elders, yet, he rejected his counsel and listened to the evil younger men’s counsel (1 Chron 10). Peter told the younger men to be subject to their elders and to clothe themselves with humility towards one another (1 Peter 5:5). Paul told Timothy not to sharply rebuke and older man, but to rather appeal to him as a father (1 Tim 5:1). However, there is something that seems to surpass the authority of age itself, and that is the subjection of the soul of a man to Christ. As King David says, “I understand more than the aged, because I have observed Your precepts (Ps 119:100)”.  Similarly, Paul told Timothy not to let anyone look down on his youthfulness, but to show himself as an example to the believers in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity (1 Tim 4:12). When a man is walking by the Spirit, regardless of his age or physical talent, Godly authority is bestowed to him. Another example of this is God’s sovereign election of Jacob over Esau. God told Rebekah that the older would serve the younger (Rom 9:12).

    Finally, there is something about the nature of a man and woman’s oneness in flesh that is in stark contrast to what the world teaches us about the relationship between men and women. For in secular media, our society and our children are constantly taught that the love of a man for a woman is conditional. She must be irresistibly beautiful all the time, a wonder woman, money-making, interior decorating, cuisine artist, socially adept, perfect mother….in order to be loved by her husband. Somehow, the world teaches us that women who are not beautiful, physically talented, or capable are not worthy of unconditional love. The beautiful irresistible damsel in distress is rescued, saved, and sacrificed for…but the rest of the real damsels in the world who are not beautiful or “worthy” are left in the pit of destruction. Do we see how utterly contradictory this is to the nature of our Christ for His bride. While we were still sinners, in horrifying distortion of Spiritual beauty, He demonstrated His love to give Himself for us. He calls us a part of Himself. Each one is apt to love and take care of himself, whether or not he thinks himself to be worthy. Similarly, for a man to consider his wife to be one flesh with himself, he shows her unconditional love, whether or not she is worthy. Here in this love, she is filled with deep respect for him, and in her deep respect, his heart is filled with tender response….you know how this goes J. There is a general tenderness that all Godly men are to have for all Godly woman as Paul tells Timothy to treat the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity (1 Tim 5:2).

    I could go on and on but will stop here. I am still in the process of understanding these things which once upon a time, were understood in the hearts of many, but in our ungodly and crooked generation, are like buried treasure, that only the Spirit and Word can revive in our hearts and minds. 

The Man who Would take my Hand and Lead me to the Gallows

The Man who would take my Hand and Lead me to the Gallows (Excerpt from chapter 7 of "The Gospel and the Core of Purity")

     This section is about the man whom I would follow willingly. We know that regardless of the extent to which the God-given authorities in our lives fall short of God’s standard, we are called to obey and honor them in the Lord. So what I will elaborate on here does not convey that I would be free to unrighteously dishonor or disobey a God-given authority. Rather I include what follows to reveal to you an example of what you ought to value and consider as priceless in worth within a man whom you seek to marry. Each Christian woman may have a slightly varying perspective on the “perfect man of God” based on her understanding of Scriptures and knowledge of Christ, and here I will share mine with you. What is described here is a very meager description of a mighty vision I had of the perfect man of God.

 

     Before I begin, I must present the other question of whether I deserve such a man as I will describe. We know that we deserve nothing, but we have been raised up with Christ and are granted every Spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms (Eph 1:3). So there is no telling what God could bless us with. Another aspect is that as suitable helpers, it is very possible that God will use us to increase our husband’s Godliness, and thus we are his aid in achieving the state of holy perfection. As Solomon said, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Prov 18:22)

1.     He must be Regenerated by the Word and Spirit of God and elected for eternal life.

    In a sense, this is my only requirement. The reason why this requirement surpasses my greatest dreams is because God makes glorious promises to all of His elected saints. He promises to do more than all that they ask or think according to His power that works in them, He promises to conform them into the Image of Christ, He promises to remain faithful to them and to enable them to stand firm in faith until the end, He promises to give them greater and greater revelations of His Word, His glory, and His love, He promises that nothing shall separate them from the love of Christ….thus any man who falls into the category of the regenerate would more than exceed my dreams. Why? Because Christ infinitely exceeds my dreams and He dwells and works in each of His regenerated people! Just as God’s plan for me is sovereign and loving, so it is for any regenerate man.

2.     He must not fear men, neither their ridicule nor their admiration, but rather He must live for the honor of His heavenly Father.

     One of the most undesirable traits in a man is his fear of the opinions/regard of other people such that his obedience and boldness for Christ is subdued because of it. And yet there is an exceeding glory that I see in a man who speaks according to the Word of God, who does not flinch with the prospect of his earthly reputation or financial status falling in his obedience to Christ. He must be baptized with the purpose of God and driven by a relentless zeal for God’s honor above his own. This world is not his home and he dwells here as an alien, stranger, and soldier intent on pleasing his commanding Officer (2 Tim 2:4). He administers justice in all situations: the mercy, grace, and Truth of Christ to all. He does not pervert God’s righteousness to seek the favor of rulers. His upright way may be abominable to the wicked, but because he trusts in the Lord, he will be exalted. (Prov 29:25-27)

¹⁸ He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who is seeking the glory of the One who sent Him, He is true, and there is no unrighteousness in Him. John 7

3.     He must love God and others in a way that causes him to crucify his flesh and lay down his life.

     His love comes from the love of his Father poured into his heart by the Holy Spirit (Rom 5:5). His love is unfailing, forgiving, gracious, selfless, strong, and is manifested in ardent labor on behalf of the people of God and the spread of the Gospel among the lost. He must be willing to open up our home to the needy, the orphans, and the widows. He must not cling to money, but extend a generous hand to all. He must love children and love to teach them the Word of God. He must see the souls of others and let the manifestations of his love penetrate deep into the spiritual needs of the people of God. He must be like me in that he cannot walk through a street of lost people without feeling deep sorrow over the lost and asking God for love and boldness to proclaim the Gospel. His love must not be superficial or worldly, but it must be founded upon Truth. His love may lead to open rebuke and hidden prayer on behalf of those whom he loves.

¹² “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. John 15

4.     He must love the Truth above all else.

     His knowledge of the Truth has set him free and thus he loves the Truth of God’s Word. His love for the Truth, written on his heart, is so strong that he fiercely opposes every pretext that opposes it. His wise discernment and understanding of the core doctrines causes him to identify and gently rebuke sources of error and heresy. He must understand moral depravity, atonement, justification, regeneration, progressive sanctification, and predestination (I do believe that some true believers do not yet understand predestination, but my husband should. He must also understand how God’s grace and kindness leads us to repent [he should have personally experienced this]. He must understand the absolute necessity to pursue love above all else. His desire for the Truth must prevail over his desire to “be right” or to be contained in the comfort of the flesh. When I am wrong and when the Truth would make me go through sorrow, he must still lead me in it. He must command me to take up my cross and follow Christ.  He will proclaim God’s Word to me to wash me from a guilty conscience. He will remind me of my eternal inheritance through the throne of grace.

5.     He must pray.

     He must pray extensively, passionately, and secretly, with me, with our family, and corporately and have a deep personal relationship with Christ. He must understand the cross. He needs to have experienced something of the depth of his own sin and the Father’s grace shown through Christ at the cross.

"He who prays much, studies much, loves much, forgives much and works much, does much for God and humanity."-E.M. Bounds

6.     His power, strength, wisdom, and message are of a Spiritual rather than earthly nature.

    He does not come with superiority of speech or of wisdom in his proclamation of the testimony of God. He determines to know nothing except Christ and Him crucified. He is with the people of God in weakness, fear, and much trembling [before God, not man]. His message and preaching are not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that the faith inspired in his listeners will not rest on man’s wisdom, but on God’s power. (1 Cor 2:1-5) He knows that he is what he is by the grace of God. God’s grace to him does not prove vain, but he labors even more than all of them, yet not him, but the grace of God with him (1 Cor 15). He has no qualms about my intellect, but seeks to lead me with Spiritual wisdom, love, and Truth. He is willing to discuss Scripture and doctrine with me for long periods of time.

⁴ And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. ⁵ You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. 1 Peter 5

7.     His physical attractiveness comes from his wisdom and humility.

     As I have been progressively sanctified, no longer did I regard those physical attributes which the world considers to be handsome. Rather, the mark of humility and wisdom in the countenance, body language, frame, and gait of a man became the signals of physical attractiveness.

 Who is like the wise man and who knows the interpretation of a matter? A man’s wisdom illumines him and causes his stern face to beam. Ecc 8

8.     He must be like a father to me in his Godly commands and loving leading, and yet he will also be like a son to me, receiving motherly tenderness, comfort, and love.

     I have desired fatherly characteristics in my husband and yet, I have longed to be like a mother to him showing him tender affection and comfort. He must instruct me and snatch me out of the flames (Jude 1:23) when I go astray as a father would. He should be compassionate and loving when I am filled with gloom over the sad state of the church (my common reason for gloom). Yet, he must be willing to receive motherly affection, gentleness, endearment, and tender care from me (1 Thess 2:7-8).

³³ Answering them, He *said, “Who are My mother and My brothers?”³⁴ Looking about at those who were sitting around Him, He *said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! ³⁵ For whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother.” Mark 3

9.     He must desire to redeem his remaining days with wisdom and the Spirit’s filling.

¹⁵ Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, ¹⁶ making the most of your time, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. ¹⁸ And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit Eph 5

10.  He must not fear persecution and death, but he must be willing and expectant for the persecution which awaits us.

     He must be the man who is so confident in the grace of His Redeemer who saved him on the merit of His own blood that he is not afraid to die. Furthermore, he is willing and eager to be counted worthy to suffer for the sake of Christ. He will exhort me unto this end. He will command me to carry my cross and follow Christ. He would stand between the fire and our family and yet he will take my hand and lead me to the gallows if Christ would so choose for us to die for His sake.

Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. 2 Tim 3:12

With or without such a man, I will follow Christ, my truest Lover, Lord, Savior, and King.

An Ode to Strict Parents

Priceless Authorities (excerpt from Chapter 7 of "The Gospel and the Core of Purity")

     God has created man in His own image; male and female He created them (Gen 1:27). He is characterized by the Triune nature of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Let us focus on the characteristics of the heavenly Father. Our heavenly Father exercises sovereign and loving authority over His children. His discipline is painful and yet it yields a peaceful harvest of righteousness for His children who are trained by it. As we submit to the Father of our spirits, we are able to live. (Heb 12:5-12) He rescues us from every evil attack. He delivers us out of each temptation through His discipline and restoration. He commands us to remain in His Word and to persevere in His true Doctrine. All of His commands to His children are given in love. All of His judgments and discipline are for the good of His children, to keep them in the faith and in the narrow path that leads to eternal Life. If we truly understood the consequences of sin both here in this world and in the age to come for those who reject Christ, we would worship Him with infinite gratefulness for His authority. When God’s judgments come on the world, the people of the earth learn righteousness (Is 26:9). When we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined by Him so that we are not condemned with the world (1 Cor 11:32).

    In short, a thorough understanding of the heart of our heavenly Father towards us in His discipline and the reasons for and results of His discipline would reveal His glorious love. We would cling to Him and never let go! So, let us consider those authorities whom He has placed in our lives to guard us against impurity. I want to share with you my deepest gratefulness and respect for the God-given authorities in my life. Sadly, I have not always respected and honored the presence of the discipline of the authorities in my life. But now, having been trained in righteousness by it, I would not take away a single word or act of discipline that I have received from my God-given authorities. Though my authorities have not been perfect in their administration of discipline in that at times it was given in anger and irritation, I would not erase any of it from my past.  Rather the sum of my prior discipline is engrained in my mind as priceless strings of pearls used by God is His tender refinement of my character.

He who withholds his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.Prov 13:24

     I have not always been grateful for the discipline of my parents, but I have come to thank God frequently for it, because I understand in some measure the protection of my soul by my heavenly Father through my earthly parents’ discipline. Throughout my later childhood and early adulthood, I became best friends with my parents. Though periodically we had conflicts over my sin, generally my parents and I were united in our understanding and pursuit of righteousness. When the desires of the parents and children are for Christ’s righteousness, there will be less conflict since the goals and purposes of both are aligned. During the times of conflict, often I considered my parents’ authority to be harsh. I even conveyed to them that I felt hated as a child. Yes, I do regret having felt this way, and God has broken my heart over my former attitudes. I have seen my parents train me in the way I should go, and seen myself resort to their Godly teachings as I grew older (Prov 22:6).

     My parents are considered far more authoritative than many others around us. Their authority and discipline have been spoken of by others as judgmental, legalistic, and graceless. And here, I wish to convey that Anand and I, of all people, have seen the extent of my parents discipline, as harsh as it may have been at times, and we confer that we value all of it as priceless. God has used each piece of it, even the imperfect pieces, to train and mold us, to reveal the extent of our moral depravity apart from Christ, and to lead us to the cross. My parents did not grow weary in doing good, but persevered. As God progressively sanctified Anand and I, they are receiving the harvest of their efforts (Gal 6:9). Did they make mistakes? Yes, and they would admit that. But their harvest of righteousness far exceeds that which would have resulted had they neglected their responsibility as parents. Was their discipline painful? Yes, Anand underwent much Godly sorrow for his life as a result of his father’s dissatisfaction with certain parts of his life. And I went through many crying episodes in the shower as a teenager telling God “everybody hates me…” Even in early adulthood, God has used my parents’ reproof and discipline to humble me when I was on the verge of having a lofty heart, and to shatter my pride over what ought not to be taken pride in. I have come to a point in my heart where, when my parents rebuke me, it still hurts for the time, but deep down I know that God is going to humble me and cause me to repent. He is going to refine my character and make me more like Christ. And thus, I have come to thank God for my parents, and even to long for their rebuke. When we are wise in Christ, we will love those who reprove us. When we are given instruction, we will become wiser still. When we are taught our learning is increased. (Prov 9:8-9) The kind reproof of the righteous is oil on our head; our head should not refuse it (Ps 141:5).

    Currently I have a general routine that I go through when I am rebuked by my parents: When I first hear it, it stings, and I may say some words out-loud to defend myself and feel worse after speaking such. Then I withdraw and acknowledge the depravity of my flesh. The Spirit grants me humility and repentance. Then I plead with God to give me a new heart and spirit and to help me become like Christ. Then I confess my sin to my parents. It is a repetitive process that happens every now and then. I am amazed to see how God is changing me. These days, this process is short-circuited, and the Spirit’s conviction is there at the time of rebuke so that I am granted repentance more quickly. I pray that God will make me more humble and receptive to rebuke and discipline.

    My deep respect is given to every Godly parent, especially fathers, who are strict with their children. Yes, they make mistakes, but God will reward their faithfulness and their keeping good trust with what has been entrusted to them.

²⁵ The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
²⁶ It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the Lord.
²⁷ It is good for a man that he should bear
The yoke in his youth.
²⁸ Let him sit alone and be silent
Since He has laid it on him.
²⁹ Let him put his mouth in the dust,
Perhaps there is hope.
³⁰ Let him give his cheek to the smiter,
Let him be filled with reproach.
³¹ For the Lord will not reject forever,
³² For if He causes grief,
Then He will have compassion
According to His abundant lovingkindness.
³³ For He does not afflict willingly
Or grieve the sons of men. Lam 3

A personal observation: REGENERATE AUTHORITATIVE FATHERS TEND TO HAVE REGENERATE MEEK SONS AND REGENERATE MEEK SONS TEND TO BECOME GREAT MEN.